{It was in this moment I learned what unconditional love is}


Sweet baby Landon arrived on June 19th at 7:12 pm with the assistance of a vacuum after 24 hours of labor.

The 24 hours or so leading up to his debut weren't nearly as exciting as the last 15 minutes.

June 18th
4:30 am - Wake up to contractions & try timing them but they are few and far between.

7:30 pm - Contractions now consistently 5 minutes or less apart and growing with intensity. This is about the time I decide this is probably it and I should call my doctor.

9:00 pm - Arrive at the hospital and get hooked up to monitor contractions. Less than an hour later I was told to go home and that I'm in false labor and to only come back when my water breaks.

June 19th
2:00 am - After Luke has slept for a solid 30 seconds I decide its time to go back to the hospital.

6:00 am - Transferred to a labor & delivery room. Get an epidural, start pitocin & get my water broken.

4:00 pm - Fully dilated and ready to push.

5:00 pm - After an hour of pushing and making no progress I decided to labor down for an hour.

6:00 pm - Laboring down had some success and baby moved - later I find out its just enough to avoid a c-section.

6:45 pm - Another 45 minutes of pushing & again making no progress. Around this time my doctor casually mentions we might have to use a vacuum to assist him out but its not needed yet. She also mentions they don't use them unless they have to and are used to avoid an emergency c-section.

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By 7:00 pm my doctor changed her tune and had a lot more urgency in getting baby out quickly. Unfortunately for the last couple contractions when I pushed his heart rate dropped very low. Before I knew it the room was filled with 5 additional nurses - 4 which were from the NICU and my doctor was in scrubs and trying to attach a plunger to my babes head.

The first time was unsuccessful in attaching which just about caused Luke to pass out because it was a bit of a bloody mess. The next time took and four pushes later Landon was laying on me. This was suppose to be such a blissful and lovely moment but in reality it was terrifying.

The doctor was unwrapping the umbilical cord from around his neck, he was very gray, had the craziest double cone head and he wasn't making a peep. Not a single peep.

I was told during my birth place tour the month before that he would be put on me skin to skin for the first hour unless there were issues. Right after Luke cut the cord a nurse came and took him. I started crying instantly.

I strained to hear him make noise while I lay 10 feet away getting stitched up. I looked to the faces of my family members (both my parents, my MIL & two of my sisters were in the room during his delivery) who could see him. They fake smiled with tear filled eyes and said he was good and healthy. I could tell they were as clueless as I was at the state of my baby and were just trying to make me feel better.

What felt like an hour but was more like 15 minutes later a nurse brought him over and told me he had a low APGAR score and that he was having a hard time transitioning. She said we should do skin to skin to see if that helps.

That is when the picture above was take. Finally being able to hold him and look into his eyes - the best moment of my life.

Shortly later the NICU nurses left and I finally let myself relax some. His health issues resolved on their own over the next few hours.

Those first few moments meeting my sweet baby boy were so emotional… beautiful, terrifying and full of unconditional love. Its true what they say, I would do it all again.